It takes me some time to write, but now you have both of the 'boys'with you. I do believe that there is a special meadow just for them, with all sorts of interesting smells and hiding places. Mac, Hans, Chad, Zephy, Tarry, Tutti, Jet and now on the 14th. June 2010, Buster. The day before what would have been your 14th Wedding Anniversary, I tried several times to call Monique, leading up to that day. But I couldn't leave yet another message that he was dying. It almost seems as if it's my fault and that she's washed her hands of us. I've not only lost you, Bro, but I've also lost a sister and a friend. Many times I've wished that I hadn't gone along with helping out with her friend from work. After all you were the one who died. At least by buying your van from her she was able to pay for your funeral, and I paid for everything else. Now I have to sell AJ's flat so that she can get her share. AJ knew that you didn't have any money to leave, so she did it for you. I just wish she'd at least speak to Mum, she's only got me now. Sorry for being so maudlin, but I also heard today of another friend who took his own life and it's his funeral tomorrow.